I didn't post yesterday. I'm sorry. I was writing a magazine article and didn't finish until 1:30am, and by then I was just too tired.
But my joyful moment was going on a walk, from which the cover photo was taken. In between working at my job job and working for my magazine job, and in between fretting and meeting with friends / my home group, I went along the East Bay Bike Trail. And I remember going for a run there this time last year-- I was preparing to move to Greece-- and thinking, "Man. How lucky am I to have lived here?"
I thought that same thing again, except this time in the present tense. I live in a beautiful state, where bike trails extend for miles, the bay surrounds me on either side, and I can walk here from my house.
What prompted the picture, though, was a fishing boat on the bay. It looked just like the Evanthoula, the Greek fishing boat that the fishermen took us on. I could envision Stamatis at the back, letting out the nets by hand, steering with his foot. And I thought, "Man. How lucky am I to have such memories?" I now have a kindred spirit for fishermen.
Today's joyful moment is too long to explain in detail. I'm sorry to leave out the backstory, but essentially, I made a rash decision that affected both me and my boss, and I did not consult with her about it first. I realized after the fact (of course) that the repercussions of my actions could have been devastating, in terms of ruining the relationship of trust we've built.
Isn't that always how it goes? Something that takes years to form can simply be destroyed in an instant.
Hence the aforementioned fretting.
I petitioned for prayers from anyone who might pray, and I myself was doing the same. At first it was all about my boss allowing me to uphold my decision, and then God started to do what he does best and show me the error of my thinking. Finally I could see it from her perspective. This was not a matter of me defending my decision as much as it was humbly apologizing for removing the discussion entirely and making a decision on my own. I was disrespectful to her as a supervisor, and it made it seem as though I took for granted all the wonderful things she has done for me in the three years we've worked together.
I was so, so sorry.
We met today at noon. I had a whole speech planned out, explaining how I know I was out of line, and I'm so sorry, and I'm willing to accept all consequences--I just don't want it to ruin our relationship.
She politely listened to my spiel, said she appreciated those things, and thank you. But I needn't have fretted; everything was fine. What I mistook to be her anger/disappointment was just her needing to focus on her family yesterday.
She upheld my decision, and it was as if nothing had happened.
BLESS THE HEAVENS!
It was such an answered prayer, not only in the outcome itself, but also in her forgiveness and in the change of heart I had leading up to the conversation. I was given a glimpse of what mercy and grace looks like, and it's in such moments we can experience heaven here on earth.