I will try to explain as best I can.
I've mentioned it a few times in past blogs that I've been praying for someone. I called in other friends, and thenI received revelations, and then bad news, and then peace, etc. There's been a rollercoaster of happenings and emotions since the genesis of being called into prayer.
Most recently I was feeling okay about everything--still praying, but in a less emotionally driven or attached way--but yesterday I received an email that just seemed...mean. Nothing said was overtly mean, but it was intended--I think--to hurt my feelings.
Which it did.
I ignored it last night, but I woke up thinking about it. I felt angry, and maybe a little bitter. I wanted to confront this person and be like, "DUDE. Why are you acting like such a d-bag? What did I do to you?" It felt like my prayers were somehow backfiring, and then I considered the possibility that maybe this is a reaction from the enemy because I'm praying for this person. But I subconsciously started thinking about how to reply, what to do to "fix things" when I read the following two devotionals today.
I kid you not. This was crazy! Tell me that God isn't awesome. HE IS SO AWESOME. I logged this in my journal saying, "This is God dropping the mic. I have nothing to add; I must simply walk away."
Thanks for hearing me, Lord, and for showing me mercy.
"I love the Lord for He heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned His ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116:1-2