After two weeks of looking at my food processor sitting in a box on my living room floor, I finally used it today!
The reason it took so long is that there were a lot of parts, and at least two instruction manuals. That's a lot of manuals for someone who doesn't ever sit down to read them, and come on guys--where are all the pictures??
I had to barter help from Jeremy by promising him a pumpkin smoothie if he helped me put it together. Just as a precaution against my culinary skills, I also fed him pizza because there was no guarantee that anything I made would turn out as anticipated.*
It did take about an hour and several tries before we could put the lid on properly and get it running, which was a little scary for me since I'd already put the ingredients in the base and was horrified they would forever sit there, lumpy and un-blended, but now all is well! I will probably never be as smart as my food processor nor use it to its full capacity, but I'm glad I can now attempt pumpkin hummus!
*true in this case, for the pumpkin smoothie. It was chewable. What recipe for a smoothie calls for oats?? Granted, I only had steel cut oats and I figured, "This must be the same thing," but still. I can't imagine they tasted that different.