A Timely Word
Today was a constant reminder of the push and pull between human nature and divine strength.
I'm currently seeking more of God, however that may be understood, because --as you can gather from the theme of the this blog-- I'm ready for a change. I want to see a transformation in my life, even if I don't know exactly what that looks like. I feel like I could be living life fuller, not in the "put more stuff" in it kind of way, but in the "take more out" of it kind of way.
Right before I went home for Christmas break, I had a conversation with someone whom I admire and trust. As I was going through an emotional confession about the wrong directions I was taking, how I wanted to change but didn't want to change, he simply asked me: what do you want your legacy to be?
Huh. I stopped my crying to think: well, not this.
I knew that I wanted to be a writer, And I wanted to use whatever gifts I have to help people.
And he said, okay. That's good. And tell me about today? What do you want to be your legacy of today? Because you know, as scripture tells us, we are not promised tomorrow.
So, it came down to having positive interactions with the people I encounter, and having a joyful spirit.
Be a light, as it were.
He was trying to point out that we can get so caught up in the past and so caught up in the future that we're missing out on the moments we have now to insert more life.
Make every conversation matter. See the people around you who need help. Be a better employee, a better friend. Take the time to be still. To say thank you.
For the last couple of weeks, I've had a hightened awareness of these, so now when I sit down at night to write my blog post, I don't know what to say. Do I mention feeling productive at work? Do I mention an afternoon walk? Do I mention a phone call with my dad, or sharing a deep conversation with a friend? Do I mention washing my sheets so that I have a clean (and warm, thanks to my new heated mattress pad!) bed to crawl into at night?
Do I mention the ways in which I'm seeing God move?
I don't want to oversimplify and say seeing the moon was the highlight of my day, but I really did stop to appreciate the moon. I also don't want to avoid highlights because they're difficult to talk about, like recognizing temptation and receiving the strength to overcome it.
For today, however, I think I will say I'm thankful for the timely word of a friend. In the midst of saying a prayer, I received a text that said:
"We shouldn’t seek answers as much as we should seek God. If you seek answers you won’t find them, but if you seek God, the answers will find you."
(-The Circle Maker)
It was the perspective I needed at just the right moment, and it's something I want to use to reorient myself moving forward.
Sometimes, going out on a limb to send a message to someone, no matter how small or even unusual it might seem, is exactly what we're supposed to do.